Friday, February 19, 2010

Ameren Can Suck It

This is my interpretation of the lame radio ads that Ameren is putting out.

"Hi. I'm Mr. Douche Bag. We here at Ameren know you are tired of the other broad talking, so we decided I would do the honors. Maybe if you hear someone else talking about how bad you're getting fucked, you will be more accepting and understanding. We don't feel bad for anally raping you in your electric rates. We had to raise your rates to cut limbs and trees and shit. We should have been doing it before, but we were too busy spending your money on important things like hookers and beer. If you give us more money, we will take care of those trees. You are still going to lose power though. We pretty much suck at our jobs and have no idea what the fuck we are talking about. We are going to continue to spend money on these radio ads because that's important too. We could probably use that money to cut down some more trees, but that would be silly. We wouldn't be able to jack up your prices more. Raising the rates is a good thing. You are going to reduce your consumption so you don't have to pay more. But..........if you do that, we are going to have to fuck you harder because we still will need more money. Those trees don't stop growing ya know. Thank you so much for letting me waste your precious time with all this garbage I've been spewing. Have a great day."

:o) Now I really don't hate Ameren. I just think it's funny they are justifying rate hikes because they need to cut down limbs. Did these limbs just magically appear?? So you didn't cut down limbs before??? And why do you feel it necessary to take out ads all the time telling us this? It's not going to make us feel any better. We are going to be really pissed when you spent all that money so you could cut limbs to help us from losing power and we end up losing power any way.


Katie said...

Ha! That was a good read! I have a few companies that I feel a similar way about.

Anonymous said...

Come join The Fair Electricity Rate Action Fund (FERAF)