Saturday, January 31, 2009

I think I am back

I took a quasi-break from blogging. I needed time to figure things out. Nothing was majorly wrong. I'm just screwed up in the head. I have had very mild bouts of depression in the past. Every now and then the problem arises for whatever reason. I had tried medication but found that it often left me in a zombie like state. Even when taking the medication at night, I found myself so lethargic during the day. This is not good seeing as how I have three children who need me. I prefer therapy or a counselor. It is my belief that everyone should see a counselor or therapist. I think it is good to talk things out, to see the source and try to figure out a solution without medication. I do understand that there are times when medication is absolutely necessary. I'm not one of those freaks that says antidepressants are bad. I just have not had any success with them personally.
During my break, I figured out what was triggering my blue mood.
1. Adjusting to the new visitation for Grace and Tater
They are spending a couple of extra days with their father. I didn't think I would freak out like I am, but I miss them terribly. I know it is only a couple of days, but nonetheless, it is time away.
2. Discovering that Little D is Satan
I checked for the markings, but I have not found them yet. I know that he is still young (14 months) but he is pretty much awful. Grace and Tater were such good children. They were so well behaved. Little D is not. I do discipline him and stay on top of his behavior, but it will take time before any of it sets in. I am the type of person that internalizes everything. Little D's bad behavior (or what I think is bad behavior) translates to me being a bad parent. I know this doesn't exactly sound logical, but it is what I have rationalized. If my children turn out to be devils and delinquents, then I have failed at parenting.
3. Financial strains and concerns
I pretty much lost it when my husband told me about the cutbacks at work. I was wondering how we would make it. I realized that we are both incredibly lucky to still have our jobs. I am finding ways to save money and we are cutting things out we don't need. We are doing what we can to keep what we have. We cannot change the economy. If we lose everything, then we lose it. We still have each other. Material items don't make us who we are. These times right now define us. This is what builds character and values.
4. Feeling isolated at work.
I'm not sure if anyone I work with reads this. I have never talked about this with anyone, because I seem juvenile. Over the summer, my best friend H quit working at the day care. I took that pretty hard. Yes, I still talked to her every day and saw here pretty frequently, but I'm a big baby. After the summer program, we realized that due to low enrollment, we would need to combine classes. I would take two classes. This means that now I am by myself for nearly the entire day. The other classes are all on the other side of the building. I know that I am not there to chat all day with the other teachers, but it is nice to just have another adult nearby. There are many days were I am not even able to leave my class to use the restroom. I no longer feel like I am part of the group.
5. Remodeling the house has caused me terrible anxiety.
First, there was the trouble of picking out the paint colors. Then, there was the fear that I was going to hate it after getting it on the walls. Next, it is picking out the flooring and hoping it looks ok with the paint. There is the anxiety from doing things in stages. It doesn't look put together. It would be crazy for us to even attempt to knock it all out in a weekend, but I still get anxious sitting in my living room that looks odd. Of course, we have to PAY for the supplies. Yes, we have the money to do it, but I don't want to spend it. I have a hard time spending money. I was taught to save everything.
6. All of these things combined caused tension with my husband and me.
I was starting to become withdrawn. I stopped talking and became very reclusive. I was unintentionally pushing him away. Obviously, this is something that I did not want to do.

I'm still working through some of the problems, but sometimes talking about things helps me. I'm sorry that this is long and boring, but I need to get it out. Now ya know that I'm a little kooky. I think crazy makes the world go round though.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Not so much

I'm going to be blogging less, for a while now. I'm dealing with some issues. It's nothing serious, and I may share the details at a later date. Right now, it's important to focus on the matters at hand.
I did feel it necessary to tell you about my sweet finds at Target yesterday. With a lot of research and a lot of helpful blogs, I was able to pick up these items:

1 Ocean Spray Cran Apple Juice
2 Coffemate Creamers
2 South Beach Living High Protein Bars

Total Paid with tax: .68
Yep, that's right. Less than a dollar.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

HotSACKS Giveaway at JANE4girls

I absolutely love this blog. I get so many tips and ideas for cutting costs and saving money on groceries. Right now, there is a giveaway for a wonderful product call HotSACKS. They are eco-friendly, cute and reasonably priced. Go over and check it out!

Friday, January 16, 2009

No kids on a Friday night.

And look what I am doing. I could be out partying or enjoying the company of a friend. No, I'm sitting at home. Alone. Missing my children. They went to my parents' house. They are supposed to stay two nights, but I don't think that is going to happen. I miss them way too much. I always THINK that I want a break, but I start missing them as soon as they walk out the door. I'm a little crazy I suppose. D and a friend are going to start painting as soon as D gets up tomorrow. That could be any where from 9-3. Hopefully, he gets up early. I haven't decided if I am going to help. I don't want to get in the way. Maybe I will just lie in bed all day. I am pretty sure I will go up and pick the kiddos up tomorrow evening. I will need them home.

Painting the house

I am so terrified. I know. It's just paint. How in the world could this be scary??? Well, that is simple. I'm a neurotic freak. That's how! D decided the other day that we are going to paint the living room this weekend. He also decided that we will finish our home improvements by March 15. Say what? Darn it. That doesn't give me much time to change my mind on anything. Crap. Our living room, dining room and kitchen are all pretty much connected. Plus the entry and the hall. We are talking a lot of wall to paint here. Seriously. I pulled the colors I think we are going to use. Assuming I don't change my mind again. The colors are from Sherwin Williams. We will find similar colors at Home Depot (gift cards, sweet). They really do not look like this in person. They always say that colors on the monitor are not the same. Boy, were they right.












Living room, dovetail gray










Kitchen, Burgundy










Upper Bathroom, Composed (ironic, eh?)










Master Bedroom, Chinchilla

Living room
Some people might shriek when I say gray for the living, especially one that is a little darker. We have high ceilings and a lot of light comes in. I'm afraid that if we go a shade lighter it will wash out. I love the coolness of the gray and the versatility. I will be able to change the curtains, throw pillows, art, etc. I have many many options that I can go with. We had originally thought we would go with a brown, but I find that color a little too depressing. I hear eyes rolling. "How is gray not depressing?" Well, I happen to LOVE cloudy days, so gray won't be terrible.

Kitchen
The Burgundy color on the card has a little bit more of a blue in it. The sample I pulled almost looks more like a brick red. Burgundy was the closest I could get to purple with D's approval. This color will only go three walls and there isn't actually a lot of surface area. I'm not afraid of it being too dark. I think it flows with the gray fairly well.

Bathroom
I LOVE the color for the bathroom. D wanted something green. I wanted something blue or gray. I think this is a very good compromise. I think this color will be fairly versatile also.

Bedroom
The color for the bedroom is an odd color. D wanted something dark, like a brown. I really couldn't commit to brown. Plus, we have this gorgeous picture that I love and the brown tones do not go with it well. The color we decided on has a nice combination of gray and brown. The pic I pulled doesn't show that little hint of brown.

I think the general flow of the colors is pretty decent. There is nothing too out of place or shocking. I am crossing my fingers.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

As if you cared

I apologize for my lack of posts. I have been so tired that I just don't feel like it. I am still trying to catch up on all of the sleep I lost while Little D was sick. It's easier said than done. Not to mention that because of my increased anxiety, my dreams are more vivid. I never really have a restless night sleep. I would love to go to the doc to get my nerves taken care of but I can't. My hubby's employer decided NOT to send the information to the insurance company. I'm not exactly thrilled about that. It's a darn good thing I didn't go to the doctor yet. We cannot afford some ridiculous bills.

I had a small victory on the home front! D and I were arguing about paint colors. Again. He said something commenting on my affinity for the color purple.
D: "It's f***ing ugly."
Me: Ok, bucko. That's fine if you do not like the color, but there is no need to be so hateful.
D: It's just a color.
Me: It is my favorite color. I love it. When I see the color, it is comforting to me. It makes me happy. That's why I haven't been happy since we moved here. You won't let me have anything purple. (I was joking when I said this.)
D looks at me like he might possibly be in deep thought. I could tell he was thinking. There was smoke coming out of his ears.
D: You can have a little purple, like art or something. But is HAS to be abstract art.
I am doing the happy dance on the inside. I can't wait to start looking for some art that has some purple in it. I may even try to sneak in some purple throw pillows. Insert evil laugh.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

My little trip to Walgreens.

I have been on several blogs lately that have rundowns of fabulous deals at Walgreen's, such as The Boyd Team and Be Centsable. I decided I would give this a try. I only bought a few items because I was incredibly nervous about this. Don't ask me why. I'm a little loco. I get nervous over the most ridiculous things. Seriously. I was going to take a picture of my deals, but I was too excited about this to do that.

Newspaper $1.50

Garnier Fructis Styling product $3.99
- $2.00 from Easy Saver
- $1.00 Manufacturer coupon
Total Price for item= $.99

Glue $.99

Aquafresh Tooth paste on sale $2.99
- $2.00 from Easy saver
Total Price for item = $.99

Mitchum Clear Deoderant $3.99
-$2.00 Walgreen's Ad Coupon
-$1.00 printable coupon
Total Price for item= $.99

Total out of pocket= $5.83
Total saved= $8.80

If I would have acted more quickly, I could have gotten the Fructis Style product for free. It was on sale last week. I figure $.99 for styling product is a good deal though. This is good for the entire month.
There are coupons out for the Aquafresh. I believe it is $.75 off. I ordered some off Ebay. Hopefully, they will be shipped quickly. I will hit up a few stores and hopefully will only pay $.24 for toothpaste ($.40 with the price of the coupons). Sweet deal. I mean, we obviously NEED toothpaste.
The printable coupon for the deoderant would not print from FireFox. I had to switch over to IE to get that. I was able to print off 2 women's and 2 men's. I'm going to try hooking up the lap top to print off more. I'm not sure if it will work or not. I figure it is worth a shot. If it doesn't work, there are coupons for sale on Ebay. With the coupon, I would be paying $1.24 for the deoderant. Not awful at all.
I am so excited about my new found addiction. Saving money is awesome.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Budget Week 1

I first established my food budget at $60. That is not a lot of money for a family of 5, in my opinion. My opinion matters too, because, well....let's face it. I'm a big girl, and I LOVE to eat food. Kids are always hungry. They are like bottomless pits. I don't know where they put it all.
I made my weekly trip to Aldi and spent $47.55. I was concerned that I would not have enough milk to get through the week. I was right. I didn't take into consideration that the soup recipe I had used 7 cups. Duh me.
I made a trip to Walmart and purchased three pounds of onions for a little over two bucks with tax. I also had to make a trip to Walgreen's. I knew they had Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream on sale 2/$6.00. No, we really didn't NEED ice cream, but I just so happened to have a $3.00 off coupon. I cannot pass up two containers of B & J for 3 bucks. I just can't do it!!! LOL. For the week, I ended up spending $57.90.
I was under budget!!!! It's not much under, but a penny saved is a penny earned, right?? Hopefully, I can keep this up.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Menu Plan Monday

Here is a rundown of the menu for the week!!!

Monday--Chicken and bean enchilada adapted from this recipe I found at Amber's Delectable Delights.

Tuesday-- Spaghetti with meat sauce

Wednesday-- Baked Potato Soup from Allrecipes.com

Thursday-- Tuna Sandwiches

Friday-- Leftovers/fend for yourself

Saturday-- Easy Stroganoff

Sunday-- Pizza Pasta

I hope everyone has a yummy week!!!! Groceries for this week cost me just under $48. AHHHH!!! that is awesome for me. Considering I had to buy 4 gallons of milk. I am hoping that I don't have to make a run to the store for more. D said he would try to cut back a little on his milk consumption. He will drink half a gallon at a sitting. No joke.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New blog

I decided for my sanity's sake, I would just start a new blog to write down everything I am thankful for. If you would like to see it, just click here. (I hope that linky thing works. I am a little intimidated by them.)

Darn sick kid

He keeps me from getting my posts done. Obviously, I'm joking. I love blogging, but making sure the kiddos are feeling better is much, much more important. Little D is feeling better. I think I said that a couple days ago. Well, I lied. He got a nasty cold. I don't think it is going to turn into anything major, but it was a pain enough to cause him to run a fever and not sleep well. I am happy to say that he slept through the night last night, for a good ten hours. I, of course, woke up a million times to check on him. I wasn't expecting him to sleep through the night.
I have a couple of posts I need to get working on. I have a list of "101 Things to do in 1001 Days". I have come across several blogs where people are doing this. I like this better than just a normal resolution. It gives me more time, and I don't have to freak out.
Something else I wanted to do, but am already late on is posting one thing I am thankful for every single day.
I also need to go through my photos from Christmas. I haven't even had time to do that. Ahhh!!! And I'm off.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

I'm alive.

Sort of. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!! I know it's late, but it's been a little chaotic around here lately. Little D got sick on Christmas day. (Yes, you are remembering correctly. He did have the flu on Thanksgiving also.) I came down with the flu on Saturday and D was sick Sunday. This round was much worse than the last round. No fun at all. I'm still not at 100%. We actually took Little D to the emergency room. He had been sick for 5 days and was not eating or drinking. He was on the borderline to give fluids so they decided not to. He's doing much better now. I'm very thankful not to be cleaning up vomit and poo every 5 minutes. LOL. Grace and Tater haven't gotten it yet. I sent them outside to play while it was nice. I also was able to open the windows and air out the germies. I think it helped. My next post will be my resolution. I know.....you are so excited!!