Saturday, June 28, 2008

My dirty little secret.

I have a secret to tell. It's really hard for me to even announce this to the world. I am so embarassed and ashamed. Here it goes: I drive a minivan. BLAH!!! I do not like my vehicle. I have actually had it for a couple of months now. I still don't like it. I am not a minivan person. Yes, I am a mom, but not a minivan mom. I'm still young, and a little sexy, sometimes, if I try really hard. Minivans are not sexy. They reek with gooberness. Yes it is true that the minivan gets a lot better gas milage than D's pickup that he traded in. Yes, it has more room for three kids than my Escape. While I am super excited that we are saving money, I'm not excited with the stigma of the minivan. I am officially uncool and unsexy. I have to say, the minivan did motivate me to lose weight. Minivan moms I have encountered are typically on the fluffy side. I am trying like hell to break that trend. Don't get me wrong. I'm a big girl and will ALWAYS have curves. I just don't want to be a morbidly obese minivan mom. I am going to make the minivan sexy. LMAO. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.

Please, please, please.

Yes, I'm begging now. I'm praying that this new fridge works. We bought it off of someone. I was very hesitant to do so, but they still have 2 years left on the warranty so I figured it was a decent deal. The freezer seems to be doing fine but the fridge doesn't feel that cold to me. I suppose I could be crazy. Apparently, I'm not as good at fixing fridges as I thought I was. Or the one we bought was a HUGE piece of shit. I figured something would go wrong with it. I did go grocery shopping last night. I was basically playing roulette with my fridge and the bastard won. I thought to myself, "The fridge has been working for a week now. I will go ahead and stock up on food." Mr. Amana had the last laugh. Prick.

I'm 99 percent sure I am going to push the wedding back. I need to call the Lodge and see if I am able to do that without losing the money I put down. I know they are pretty much booked up for the rest of the year, so I will be looking at 2010. That is soooooooooo far away, but oh well. Part of me is wondering if I really want to get married. I mean, I obviously wasn't so hot at it the first time around. I am a different woman now and he is definitely nothing like my exhusband. I guess I feel like if I am going to wait that long to get married, is there really a point to doing it? Does he really want to marry me? Or is it more of an ownership thing, ya know: I have his last name; I belong to him. Of course, it's better than being pissed on like a dog. D suggested we go to the courthouse. HELLO! NOOOOOOOOO! I did that the first time, no thanks. I'm only questioning it because I'm not upset about postponing it. I don't feel any urgency to get hitched. By no means am I questioning my love or commitment, I dunno. I'm just rambling at this point.

Friday, June 27, 2008

I'm a jealous brat.



Sooooooooooooooooooooooo, I am extremely frustrated with D. Tomorrow night, he is going out. Wednesday is apparently guys day out. They will be doing manly stuff like golfing and watching the baseball game.



I haven't quite figured out why I am angry. I am definitely jealous. D and I haven't been out in a MILLION years. It would be nice to grab dinner and drinks or go to the bar with the man I'm going to marry. Call me crazy. We work opposite shifts so we pretty much never see eachother. Although, it's really not as bad as it sounds. It's a pretty nice set up.

I'm also bummed for the simple fact that I obviously don't have any friends to go out with. AWWWWW poor me. I've never really had a lot of friends. I don't play well with others I suppose.

I guess I am starting to really feel unappreciated. I'm constantly being told, "I work 12 hours a day, and I do this and I do that." I have told you 30 million times that you are awesome for what you do. I don't know many fathers who work nights, come home, maybe get an hour of sleep, take care of their baby and then get 3 hours of straight sleep. It's hard, but you are amazing for doing it. I know that I don't work full time. I put in a meager 30 hours a week. I come home and take care of the house and kids. That's all though. I feel like I would have more of a leg to stand on if I worked 60 hours a week. Then I would be able to step up and say something. Maybe I should start filling out a timecard just to be a smartass. Yes, I only get paid for 30 hours of work a week, but I do a lot of other shit too.

And yes, I have told D how I feel. For some reason, I still felt the need to document it on here.
This pic is funny to me. D's avatar in our fantasy baseball league is The Hoff in a speedo.

















Thursday, June 19, 2008

Are you kidding me? Seriously?

D and I went to check out fridges yesterday. We are getting an idea of what we have to spend. I think we are just going to go with something from the scratch and dent section. I can't believe they knock off 200 smackaroos because there is a little ding in the side of the fridge. Their loss is my gain. I got home and my friend called me. "My husband used to work on fridges." Bitch, why didn't you tell me that two weeks ago???? (I call her names all of the time. We are evil like that.) Anywho, he tells me what to do to fix it. LMAO. I'm not exactly talented with a screwdriver, or any other tool for that matter. So, I take the panel off and find that yes indeedy, the coils are frozen. Now, all I have to do is wait 24 short hours with the fridge unplugged. Thank goodness we have the beer box in the garage. Thank goodness there is never any beer in the beer box because there would not have been room for the food. I have plugged the fridge back in, and now I am patiently waiting to see if it works.
In the mean time, my air conditioner has decided that it really doesn't need to put out cold air. That is a luxury that I'm just not able to have. I guess we will have someone come look at it. Although, I know with the streak I am having we will need a new unit.
I just checked the fridge. I'm not positive, but I don't think it is running properly. STILL. I'm going to pull my hair out.
This would be karma sucker punching me in the face. My checking account cannot afford any more bad karma. Although, if I keep it up, maybe my house will end up catching on fire. That may not be so bad, so long as I'm able to evacuate everyone.
Ok, I'm finished wallowing in self pity. Not that it will help anything anyways, but I sure feel better getting it off my chest.



Saturday, June 14, 2008

BEEP BEEP...TMI alert!

I had my youngest son waaaaaay back in November. I didn't have a cycle until February. Boy, was I nervous. Any who........my first cycle after the pregnancy started on February 13th. I kid you not, every cycle since I had my son has started on the 13th of each month. How is that for predictable?? There has to be something weird going on there. I just thought it was pretty funny and figured I would share.
Yes, I know it isn't the right kind of egg, but I thought it was a pretty clever picture. Enjoy.

Walmart is the Evil Empire




Yes, we all know how terrible Walmart is: treatment of employees, business practices, etc. I'm talking about a store in general. This tirade is fueled by the fact that the store decided they weren't going to carry Cheese Nips anymore. I LOVE my Cheese Nips. It is the only junk food that I will allow myself to have. Those rat bastards get rid of them and bring in even more boxes of the nastiness that is Cheezits. Ew. I despise those things. Let us not forget the biggest reason we hate this store: overcrowded. People from miles and miles away come to this Walmart. I want to get in and get out ASAP. People are so rude and inconsiderate.





  • They leave their carts in the middle of the aisle. If you even THINK about moving it, they yell at you.


  • They cut you off with their shopping carts. Congradulations. You pulled your cart full of processed junk in front of mine. You just might be on your way to a trailer park 500 championship. BTW, how do you plan on chewing that spam with one tooth?


  • They can't count. The sign clearly says 12 items or fewer. It doesn't mean you can have twelve of each item. Of course, you probably don't know how to count that high in the first place.


  • They can't pay their bill. "It was how much? Oh well then, I'll put this her lettuce and milk bag. Keep the smokes and the beer. Thems very importadent."

Walmart tirade finished.